So, I Watched Paris Hilton's My New BFF Last Night...

It was kind of an accident and kind of because I started watching and just.couldn't.stop. I know what you're saying, that I can't just accidentally start watching something. Tell me that next time you start watching Just My Luck real late at night and end up staying up for the whole atrocious thing. ZING!

Anyway, the show is what it is. If you watched any of the first season I didn't but I think I caught my brother watching it a few times then you know what to expect. A bunch of dumb girls and a gay guy that are much less attractive than they all think they are, are all trying to be Paris Hilton's new personal slave best friend. They do this by competing in trashy challenges like dancing on a stripper pole or doing shots of a bunch of gross foods blended up into slop I'm not lying, this is seriously what they've had to do.

Last night, one of Paris' real friends was having a bachelor party, so she had her wannabe BFF's all throw him a bachelor party. One girl was super gross and whore-danced all over the dude. Another girl made out with him before the party ended, because class activity like that makes for a good friend.

Well, both of those trash babies got eliminated, but that's not while I'm writing about the damn show. The reason I watched it was because the only hilarious and entertaining thing to come out of the first season is back for the second. ONCH! The truly bizarre femmy boy-girl with a sense of fashion like a blind Harajuku girl from the 80's.

Onch's role in PHMNBFF2 is basically Paris' bitch. He runs around and corals the wannabes, gives them instructions, etc. AND HE DOES IT ALL WHILE WEARING A HEAD BAND WITH A BABY DOLL ATTACHED TO IT!

This guy is seriously STRUH-AYNGE. But, he at least pulls some of the attention away from the 9 foot tall ostrich that parades around the room trying to find you with her wonk eye.