What the Congressman Reading a List of Sexual Fetishes of the Day

My only question with this video is how many of these have you done before? I'm guessing at least half right. You people are SICK. Though, whatever the hell opotamophelia is, it sounds hot.




[via BuzzFeed]

The Duel II: Bobble Heads R Us

So, I've been watching a lot of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Duel II and it just blows my mind how entertained I am with a bunch of alcoholic eternal frat boy wannabes, some brain retarded girls, a couple of lesbians, and Ruthie from Real World: Hawaii. Don't get me wrong, Ruthie is the greatest thing to ever come out of MTV's original reality shows, but those other human waste receptacles are something else.

On last night's episode featured a competition where the the guys and girls paired up and then raced each other. There was a catch though, and it was in the shape of a crazy giant bobble heads. The men had to race up a hilly course, jump in a luge on wheels and ride down another course, tag their female partner and watch as they did the exact same thing. Once they the girl finished the course, the two team members then had to solve a puzzle. All of this was done while wearing a life sized bobble head with their respective faces on it.

Most of the bobble heads looked like a bunch of rejected dolls that that were found in the basement of an abandoned toy factory. I'm seriously worried for the people that had to put those things together. No one should ever have to look at themselves looking like that.

Anyway, after that mess, the winners started their pecking order for elimination which ultimately left Jen and some annoying Nehemiah. They picked Katie and Even respectively to go into the Duel against. Jen ended up beating Katie, which is kind of stupid because Katie is hilarious and Jen kinda sucks. She's injured and is gonna be lame the rest of the show. Evan beat Nehemiah which I'm perfectly fine with. I don't care that everyone thinks Evan is playing the game dirty. If there's anything I've learned from watching the various challenges over the years, it's that you can't play them clean... or sober.

RW/RR Challenges: The Duel 2 - MTV Shows

Guess Who's Gonna Be on BWE w/ PFT Tomorrow Night?

Anoop Dawg! Should be an interesting little appearance. And what is up with all that scruff? He kinda looks like a toucher. Also, does he look a lot taller than usual? Or maybe Paul F. Tompkins is really short? I've seen him in person and I thought he was an average enough height. Actually, I don't really know because he was on stage. So, maybe he is a midget. Midgets are funny so that would explain a lot.

Who's Ready for "Michael & Michael Have Issues"?!

I absolutely love Michael Ian Black and can't say that I'm not a fan of Michael Showalter. So, when you combine their efforts into one pile of awesome, you come up with Michael & Michael Have Issues. That's right, the two crazies got a show on Comedy Central and here's the first preview of it. It's all about butterflies farting. Because they're butterflies. And they fart LOUD.

Michael & Michael Have Issues	Premieres Wed, July 15, 10:30pm / 9:30c
Preview - The Farting Butterfly Sketch
comedycentral.com
Joke of the Day Stand-Up Comedy Free Online Games

Michael & Michael Have Issues premieres sometime in July.

The Cougar: Bad Talents and Buttery Wine

Did you catch The Cougar last night? Redonk. The guys were tasked with showcasing a talent that they have for Stacey and it got about as embarrassing as you can imagine. Some of the talents were pretty decent, like a Borat imitation and reciting some cheesy Shakespeare verses. The rest were all sorts of FAIL. Based on their performances, Stacey chose some of the guys to go on a date with her.

Why Stacey continues to show interest in the one twin that's left, Adam, I will never understand because that guy is totes a douche. Needless to say, he made an even bigger bag out of himself during the date. He's the guy that thinks he can get whatever he wants but has the worst game ever. And most likely an alphabets worth of herpes.

After the terrible group date, Stacey had a sit down with Jon, her fave guy of the moment. They talked for a little bit about how much better he was than everyone else because he seems to utilize a tiny portion more of his brain than the rest of the rere's that inhabit the house. Then they had a little kissy face.

Later, Vivica had all the dudes go out and select a dress for Stacey. Whoever brought back the best one would join Stacey on a one on one date. I admit that I suck shopping for girls, but Helen Keller could have seen some of those dresses were just plain nast. I'm convinced that some of the guys aren't even trying or are just plants from TV Land to make the show more interesting. Whatevs. The guy that did end up winning, Joe, looks like he just hit puberty the day before he joined the cast. Surprisingly though, he was very mature for his age, and by mature I mean he liked caviar and could semi-intelligently talk about wine. Much like anyone could if they've ever seen an episode of Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee on Food Network. She's an alcoholic.

After the date, Stacey had to send three guys home. One of them was the creepy lap dancer guy that also said Stacey had his heart and then listed off a bunch of physical attractions that he had for her. YAY SMARTS! Johnny also got sent home, but he sounded like a helium balloon when he talked so I was okay with that. And finally, the last guy to go was Kai, who I don't think I had ever seen before, so no loss there.

ABC Finally Jumps on the Hulu Train!

In one can only be described as ABOUT DAMN TIME! ABC/Disney has finally decided to join the most popular and user friendly television viewing experience on the internet. Hulu will now be home to some of the biggest shows on television right now as well as some select shows from the House of Mouse. And considering that the ABC.com video player is one of the most worthless and frustrating players out there, this is a huge piece of news.

Once the deal is closed, you can expect the following new content to appear on Hulu.

• Full-length episodes of ABC primetime programs like Lost, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Ugly Betty, Samantha Who, Scrubs, Private Practice and popular late night talk show Jimmy Kimmel Live
• Full-length episodes of hit ABC Family series like The Secret Life of the American Teenager and Greek
• Popular series from ABC Daytime and SOAPnet like General Hospital and The View
• Classic series from ABC's library like Hope and Faith, Less Than Perfect, Commander in Chief, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, and Dancing with the Stars
• Select hit programs from Disney Channel like Wizards of Waverly Place and Phineas and Ferb which can be easily accessed from a new DISNEY location in the Channel section of Hulu.com
• Popular library titles from The Walt Disney Studios
• Short-form content including webisodes, sneak peeks and episode recaps from ABC
Entertainment, ABC Family and SOAPnetSimply amazing.

This is super exciting stuff here people. There are not a ton of shows that I watch on ABC, but maybe now that I can watch them hassle free online, I might just watch more.

[via Hulu Blog]

American Idol: What the French Happened Last Night America?

I don't even know where to begin with last night's American Idol elimination round. Almost everything about it was just wrong. But, it all ended with Matt Giraud going home so I can't really fault America/Producers/Gokey too much. The show, as yoozh, started off with a group number that was about as painful to watch as ever. At least they wannabes appeared to be singing live though I could be completely wrong because I wasn't really paying that much attention.

That lead into the Ford music video for the night which was equally as boring and didn't really make any sense. I really wonder who comes up for these ideas because they don't seem to try very hard. I'm pretty sure that anyone can pitch one because it's the same damn thing each week. Idol contestants doing something un-car related + flash a couple of shots of a Ford car + terrible cover versions of popular songs = INSTANT WIN! Just try to explain this to me?



Really? A hybrid is going to save the desert? Fine. Whatevs.

After the jump, some pretty crazy bottom three members...


After all that crap, Ryan finally starts the eliminations that really shocked me. Shocked me so much that I was about ready to b*tch slap America. First Ryan tries to pump up the crowd by showing a little video of the final five having a sappy birthday cake baking food fight that was obviously staged to the point that it was uncomfortable to watch. So after everyone was in a good mood, Ryan calls all five contestants down to the floor. He splits four of them into two groups, with Kris Allen and Matt Giraud on one side and Allison Iraheta and Danny Gokey on the other. Immediately I'm confused because on one hand, how could Allison be in the bottom if she was in Danny's group and also, how could Matt be in the bottom if he's in Kris' group? WHAT WAS GOING ON?!

So then Ryan pushes things to a whole new awkward level by asking which group Adam thinks he belongs in? So, not only is Adam incredibly uncomfortable with basically having to choose who he thinks should stay, but so is ALL OF AMERICA. So, based on the previous night's performances, Adam chose Allison and Danny. Does that mean he thinks they were the best? Or is he saying that he doesn't think he was as good as Kris and Matt?

Either way, Ryan told him he chose wrong because they were the top two and that he was actually in the bottom three with Matt and Kris. WHUT THUH FRENCH!? Are you kidding me? Nothing against Allison because I'm glad she was saved, but how did that happen?! AND DANNY GOKEY? America, you need to get over that sh*t. He's not that good. And don't even get me started on Adam and Kris being in the bottom three. Granted there were only five peeps left so it's bound to happen sooner or later, but already? Ridiculous.

Do drag out the drama, Natalie Cole had to sing first and I'm just going to sum it up with a series of texts that occurred between a friend and me during her performance:

Friend: didn't know she was still alive

Me: HAHAHA.

Me: is she deaf?

Friend: I am now. Ugh.

It was that good. Next up Taylor Hicks sang the most forgettable ever which was appropriate considering he's the most forgettable American Idol ever.

After that, Ryan saved Kris Allen leaving Adam Lambert and Matt Giraud in the bottom two. How is that even possible? Adam Lambert people. Sure his performance wasn't as spectacular as it has been the bast few weeks, but srlsy. There's no way he should have been sharing the bottom two seats with wart head.

We still had to wait for an atrocious performance by Jamie Foxx to end before we got the good news that Matt was going home. And even then, Jamie Foxx talked a bunch about being famous and an artist and arrogant arrogant arrogant. No one cares about your stupid life experiences Jamie Foxx.

Finally, Ryan saved Adam Lambert, which was the right thing to do. I don't even care if America didn't vote correctly. If AI was to keep any credibility as a show that showcases singers, then Adam Lambert needed to be saved. Wart face got his send off and all was right in the world. EXCEPT THAT DANNY GOKEY WAS SAFE. That can never. Ever. Happen. Again.

Early Morning Crap

^ It's a sad day for hell. [Videogum]

- What will Creed Bratton be doing on tonight's episode of The Office? Possibly making an actual friend at Dunder Mifflin. [TV Guide]

- Jon Gosselin admitted to some "poor judgment" after he was photographed leaving a club late at night with some woman that didn't have a bull dyke hair cut and emotional issues. [Zap2It]

- Al Roker is getting his own show on The Weather Channel called Wake Up With Roker that will air at 6 a.m. before his Today Show responsibilities. I don't even know what channel The Weather Channel is. Don't people use the internet for that stuff nowadays? [Variety]

- TNT has set up a powerhouse summer schedule that continues to prove the cabler is taking steps to take on the major networks. Or at least the weaker one(s). NBC, I'm looking at you. [TV Squad]

- A catastrophe during the season finale of Grey's Anatomy? Fingers crossed everyone dies. [Watch with Kristin]

The Future is Awesome

This is just a funny little guy before I head to bed. Isn't it awesome how well some people/groups/Nostradamuses out there do sometimes predict things that actual do happen in the future. It's kind of amazing that someone out there figured that I would be playing by DS between postings to keep myself busy. Maybe someone out there can predict when I'll get an actual job. Hopefully soon. ::fingers crossed::


[via GoNintendo]

What the Hilariously Homemade Neverending Story Music Video of the Day

This is one of the most fantastic homemade music videos I've ever seen. This is almost better than the actual Neverending Story movie. Well, it at least makes more sense than the movie did. That sh*t is an acid trip on acid. Yeah, you heard me. ACID! Anyway, this thing is what dreams are made of. The best part is the horse/unicorn thing riding on the rainbow. Happy day.





[via BuzzFeed]

90210: AWFUL

Any redeeming qualities that 90210 may have once had, have all been destroyed by horribly lame story lines and awful acting. Nothing about this show is worth watching anymore as if it ever was. Why am I still watching then? I honestly don't know considering during last night's episode I kept yelling at my TV for the show being stripped of the few remaining interesting characters in exchange for bizarre, almost comedic versions of themselves.

I'll start with the worst.

Annie: There's no salvaging her as a character. She's just bad. Bad actress, bad character, bad story.

Silver: Why the only character that gave a big flying bird to "the man" would completely transfer schools and end up getting manipulated by a crazy Catholic girl. What is it with these teen dramas totally making religion seem like a bunch of nutzo freaks recent? The Hills and Gossip Girl did the same thing this week. She's just a hollow shell of what she once was.

Ethan: Really? He slept with Naomi's sister? We're really gonna go there? Eff you 90210.

Dixon: FAIL.

Navid & Adrianna: Once the most promising characters on the show, now just full of stupidity. So they want to get married. That's fine an dandy except they are 16 years old and need a parents permission so I don't see that happening. Especially if either of their parents has ANY sense in their vapid heads. Also, I'm really pissed that Navid talked Adrianna into keeping her baby. It's a poor decision considering her state and it's selfish.

Liam: I can't fault him too much because he's fairly new, but he's also fairly STUPID. A douche character can't only be just a douche. There has to be something likable about him right? Apparently not in the world of West Bev.

Naomi: She's lucky I like her so much because otherwise she'd be earlier on the list. Why in the flying french nun was she out of her mind crazy during last night's episode?! All of a sudden the calm and manipulative queen bee was erratic, brain dead, and obnoxious. Because she stays at someone else home she has to act like she's never had other human contact before? TERRIBLE WRITING.

--------------------

I'm giving this show to the end of the season to pull its self together, otherwise I will NOT be coming back next season. This trash is enough.

Real Housewives of NYC: The Pre-Fight Before The Finale

You remember when you were in college and one of your lazy professors assigned the class group projects because those were faster and easier to grade than reading individual papers written by a bunch of drunken buffoons. And of course, you don't get to choose your friends for your group because your professor is under the idea that working with people you hate helps you prepare for the real world. So you get stuck with a bunch of faceless borings who will probably be just fine, but aren't your friends. Then you find out that one of your group members is actually a complete idiot and refuses to work well with the rest of your group because their severe lack of intelligence, most likely brought on by they're mother's excessive drinking during pregnancy, makes them incapable of using human logic. You remember those times?

That is the best way I can describe Kelly. She's awful in every way. It seems like the producers pushed her in on the other housewives and she does NOT want to play nice with them.

The whole episode I waited for Kelly and Bethenny to have their little talk at the end because I was really hoping that Bethenny would just go off on Kelly, buuuuut I was way off. Instead, Bethenny tried her best to just figure out the whole situation and asked why Kelly was just so hellbent on being such a b*tch. Kelly didn't take that very well and ended up looking like a crazy.



What is wrong with this whoaman. What the clip didn't show, was that at the end, Kelly just blows the whole thing offbecause she doesn't want to indulge Bethenny's behavior. She also acts like the entire first time she yelled at Bethenny didn't ever happen. She's got issues that stem way from way beyond what Bethenny has ever done to her.

The other major plot point this week was Simon and Alex getting their Brooklyn home ready for the party they had been planning. I personally don't understand why you would plan to have a house party before you've finished remodeling your house, but she's out of her mind and he's from another country, so whatevs. They do end up getting everything finished despite that fact that the whole place looks like a sleazy burlesque joint.

----------------------------------

Next week is the season finale of The Real Housewives of NYC and boy does it look like it's gonna be a doozy. If you saw the preview after last night's episode, then you know that Jill and Bethenny get into at the charity event they've all been planning and now, it looks like we know why.



To make the finale even more exciting, Bravo is hosting a huge virtual viewing party for all of us crazies to complain about how big of a b*tch Kelly is. All you have to do is follow Bravo on Twitter or Facebook to chat with Bethenny and all us other fans during the finale episode. I'll probably be on twitter because I'm cool like that.

American Idol: Top 5 - Rat Pack Night

Last night was Rat Pack night on American Idol which meant that our top five wannabes had to sing some of the most classic songs of all time. Though it's not really my favorite genre of music, I love the style and feel of that time and was anxious to find out who the mentor was going to be for the show. Boy was I ever let down.

Jamie Foxx. One of my least favorite actors/musicians/celebrities of all time. What the hell was he on the show for? Ryan said that he, like the Rat Pack, "had transcended" various entertainment realms from, TV, to film, to music. What the French?! I don't give a crap what his stupid accomplishments are, he's not who I would have have picked to give advice to the Idol hopefuls, but whatevs, I'm not an Idol producer. Obviously, because even with only five contestants they ran over again. Idiots.

Enough anger, lets check out the singing.

Kris Allen | The Way You Look Tonight


Jamie Foxx loved him. Absolutely loved him. He called him the #1 and said he'd do an album with Kris if things didn't work out here, which I guess is a big compliment if Kris enjoys robot voiced songs. I thought his performance was great. This guy has definitely got it, from the voice, the style, to the look, he's the total Idol package. The judges were also thrilled, with Randy thought it was Kris' best performance yet, Kara thought it was technically a milestone, Paula loved it, and Simon thought it was good, but not as good as the other judges thought. He called it wet. What? I think he meant that it made Paula and Kara wet. HEY-O!

Check out the other four performers after the jump...

Allison Iraheta | Someone to Watch Over Me


Wonderful. She sang beautifully. Jamie Foxx told her to sing about the love of her family and I think that might have actually helped. I just can't get over the amount of control she has when singing, it's phenomenal. What was even more unbelievable was the fact that the judges actually gave her glowing praise. Everyone one of them. Simon did kinda ruin the moment though and say that he thought she was, sadly, in danger of going home. He also questioned whether or not she thought she could win. She gave a pretty good response saying that she believes anyone of the remaining five could. Nice job. WHY DO YOU HATE HER AMERICA?!

Matt Giraud | My Funny Valentine


Mehzles. I only half heartily paid attention to Matt Giraud because I just don't think he needs to be in the competition anymore. Plus his performance wasn't very good. It was also weird that Jamie Foxx didn't give him any advice at first, but then called him in later to do just that. I bet the guy playing the piano or one of the vocal coaches suggested something and Jamie used it as his own. Either way, the performance was boring and it had the judges split. Randy and Kara weren't impressed but Paula and Simon were. It definitely wasn't good enough to keep him around.

Danny Gokey | Come Rain or Come Shine


Not impressed. He sang it well and the judges all loved his performance with Randy saying he could have an album of these songs and Kara telling Gokey that it was the most creative he's been all competition. I honestly don't care if this was the best performance of the entire season, it doesn't make it okay that ever single song he's sang prior sounds exactly the same. He was definitely better than Matt tonight, so he can stay at least one more week.

Adam Lambert | Feeling Good


I was interested to see how Jamie Foxx would be with Adam Lambert because I had a feeling he might not be too big of a fan. I was wrong. Foxx said that Lambert would blow everyone's heads off. His performance was very good, but it was definitely nothing special which is still mostly better than the rest. The judges liked it a lot, but I really thought Simon was going to call it self-indulgent, party because that's his go to phrase this season and party because it was. That long note towards the end was ridiculous. Simon did comment on his entrance, strutting down the huge staircase saying it was the best entrance yet and saying now Ryan can't enter that way anymore, hahaha. You can just tell this kid WANTS.IT.BAD.

--------------------------------

My top three performances in order: Kris Allen, Allison Iraheta, Adam Glambert.

Bottom Three: Matt Giruad, Allison Iraheta, Danny Gokey fingers crossed

Who's going home? I'm really, really hoping that it's Matt Giraud. He's already on borrowed time and he's definitely not going to win so please send him home. I do have a really bad feeling that it's going to be Allison though which will be a TRAGEDY considering she's leaps and bounds better than Matt. Guess we'll see tonight!

Vince's Rap-Chop!

Some dude, DJ Steve Porter, remixed the now internet classic Slap-Chop informercial starring hooker beater Vince into a super catchy and amazingly well done rap version. This is by far one of the best remix videos I've seen in a really long time. I love that the Slap-Chop most likely drops a better beat than actually chops stuff. Those things are bunk!

I've totes listened to this about 9 times already.

Early Morning Crap

^ You read the story about Julia Roberts dropping F-bomb after F-bomb at an event honoring Tom Hanks right? Well now there is video! [Videogum]

- Rick Springfield is set to join Californication for four episodes. That's crazy. But what's crazier is that Californication is still on the air. I watched the first season and thought it was terrible. [Ausiello Files]

- Some new pictures of Lily VeeDeeDubs and family in some 80's hots outfits for the Gossip Girl spin-off have popped up and they've got me excited. I love a woman in shoulder pads. [Zap2It]

- The Hills is moving on without Lauren Conrad. If it starts to focus more on Spencer and Heidi and their stupid fake marriage, I might stop watching. Miiiiiiight. [TV Guide]

- Should Scrubs be let go instead of being renewed through a new version of itself without Zach Braff? Show creator Bill Lawrence does not think so. So much so that he responded to a blog post about it. [TV Squad]

- Television apparently helps us escape feelings of loneliness, especially with shows that we really enjoy. I don't know about that, 30 Rock makes me jealous that I'm not part of that world. [edubTV]

What the Guy Dumping Water on a Sleeping Friend of the Day

I'm pretty positive that this is fake, but it doesn't make it any less funny. Some dude dumps a huge pot of cold water over his friends sleeping head and it goes really, really poorly after that. About as poorly as you can expect the whole prank to go. The best part of the prank though, is the prankster's reaction after his sleeping friend... wakes up. The fact that the camera guy focused on him and not the soaking wet kid is what makes me think it's fake, but whatevs, I liked it.





[via Late Night With Jimmy Fallon]

Vote For the Commercial of the Month - April Edition

It's that time of the month again. Yes that time. No, not that time you grossy bears. It's time to vote for Commercial of the Month of April! Voting is along the right hand side and you can check out the four commercials of the week below! Make sure the one you want to represent April wins!

Black Herbel Toothpaste Commercial


Why it was CotW: I'm pretty sure that this commercial is incredibly racist, but I may be wrong. But if I'm right, and this commercial is as racist as I think it is... wowzers.

Square Butts Burger King Commercial


Why it was CotW: I find myself singing this song throughout the day because it's catchy as hell. It's also absolutely terrifying. I love it.

Little Tree Air Fresheners


Why it was CotW: This might possibly be the first commercial I've ever seen for these car air fresheners. I didn't even know they needed to be advertised. Aren't these like the only air fresheners people ever actually purchase?

Frito-Lay Chips and Dip Commercial


Why it was CotW: The little firesprite might be the most adorable creation ever to be in a commercial. Plus I love when he sets the really tall thing on fire. I laugh every time.

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Voting is on the right! You've got until Sunday morning, so VOTE VOTE VOTE!

I Love Money 2: Too Soon For Frenchie To Go

Poor Angelique. She didn't deserve to go home on last night's episode of I Love Money 2. It's incredibly disappointing as she has easily been the most loyal player in the game. But, who am I kidding, when did loyalty and outstanding moral character win anyone over on one of VH1's reality competitions. It's pretty amazing that she made it as far as she did while playing as honest as she did, so I give her mad props for that. Buuuuuut, with only six people left, that was the way the Frenchie crumbled.

After a challenge involving giant fake boobs, an obstacle course, and swimming, it left Prancer and her uninjured leg as the Pay Master and It as the Dead Last Loser. I figured that this would work out well for Saaphyri and Angelique as It had seemed to be voting for whoever Saaphyri wanted, plus Prancer and her had formed an alliance after Saaphyri saved her, but I was mistaken.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, Tailor Made got into It's head and persuaded him to vote on his side to ensure that him and Myammee were safe from elimination. COME ON IT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? Tailor Made is the pansiest POS to ever flop across VH1's airwaves. No one should trust him because he's filthy and sneaky. But whatevs, it happened the way it did and not much anyone can do about it other than bash Tailor Made and his weasel-ness. UUUUGGGH.

Anyway, Prancer ends up sending Frenchie home over It simply because Prancer thought it if it came down to it, she could be It because he's kinda rere. But, if the previews for next week are to be believed, It just might be a tad bit smarter than we all thought he was, which could be AAAAAWEEEESOME!

Heroes: An Invisible Thread (SEASON FINALE)

It was crazy. CRAZY. With all the much deserved hoopla surrounding the season finale of Chuck last night, it's easy to forget one of NBC's other shows that had it's season finale last night. Sure a lot of people have kind of abandoned Heroes throughout the years, but things have turned around rather dramatically and had an excellent season finale with a major cast member death and a interesting set up for next season.

It was a lot to take in, and it definitely wasn't without some faults, but for the most part, it was definitely a worthwhile season finale. Starting with the death of Nathan Petrelli. SPOILER ALERT. Yeah, he didn't really die. Even though his body is physically dead, with all of the abilities that Sylar had absorbed throughout the years, Matt Parkman was able to sculpt Sylar's brain into Nathan Petrelli. So yeah, physical body dead, mental copy is still intact. That way, Heroes is safe without having to really eliminate a cast member.

Keep reading after the jump!


This poses a problem as now, Sylar's mind is holding not only his own persona, but that of Nathan Petrelli. We get to see just a tinge of Sylar peaking through the Nathan facade in the preview for season 4 when he notices that a clock in his office is just running a little bit fast. What a terrifying idea. WHO WILL WIN?!

Obviously, that means the heroes stopped Sylar from taking over the presidency and becoming the most powerful man in the world. But that wasn't the only interesting tidbit we discovered during the finale. First up, continuing on from last week's episode, Hiro is suffering some weird side effects from using his ability. Mohinder suggested that it's possibly his body rejecting his ability like a sickness. What does that mean for him next season?

We also saw, in a preview for next season, Tracy Strause is back and better than ever. Not only does her power include controlling the temperature of her body and her immediate vicinity, but also being able to turn into liquid form and move around! Plus it looks like she just might be hunting down all those that were responsible for torturing her one.by.one. I cannot wait!

Finally, my favorite part of the episode was, as always, Angela Petrelli. She was absolutely fantastic in the season finale. Watching her wake up from her dream and know that one of her sons, arguably her favorite, is in grave danger and then frantically doing everything to save him, only to find out he's already dead was actually pretty powerful. The scene where she found Nathan's dead body. Wowzers. What an actress. Easily my favorite on television today.

On the negative side, WHY DO WE NEVER GET TO SEE AN AWESOME FIGHT!? When Sylar, Nathan, and Peter went at it, why did the doors have to close and prevent us from watching some awesome electricity and flying fighting? Come on! When in the hell are we ever going to see a kick ass fight full of powers and sweetness? Come on Heroes!!! Also, if Hiro ends up losing his ability again next season, I'm going to flip out. He's been through that already. NOT.AGAIN.

All in all though, wonderful episode. I'm already Team Pumped for the next fall! I'm definitely happy that I chose to stick with the show for the full ride despite some quality drops and other fans leaving. It made it all worth it when the show got better. Plus, it's going to be an interesting new volume, that's for sure.


P.S. - How creepy was it that Sylar was talking about making Claire his first lady. NAST!

Gossip Girl: Southern Gentlement Prefer Blondes

After finishing watching last night's episode of Gossip Girl a few minutes ago, I have to admit that I have absolutely no idea what happened at all during the episode other than Georgina Sparks came back. The rest of the episode was filled with a ridiculous amount of confusion, poor choices, and bad parenting. I honestly don't understand how Rufus was able to keep the children when him and his wife split. She must have been a animal rapist.

Anyway, there was so much going during the episode and about 90% of it didn't make any sense. I'm just going to try and piece together what I can because my head started to hurt the more I thought about all of it.

Carrying over from last week, Serena is still dating Gabriel who is also seeing Poppy, but only because he's using her for a business deal, which is apparently the perfect specimen of morality that Serena wants to surround herself with. So while Gabriel and Serena are at a party with Lily and Rufus what? Blair and Chuck decided to try and reveal to everyone that Garbiel's a cheater/creeper/robot? Honestly, what is up with his voice!? It's scary. It's deep, but not in a human way. Plus he's got those fangs! Worst.character.ever. When he talks I have to stop paying attention.

Well, through all that crap we find out that Gabriel isn't really dating Poppy but he is because they're trying to get money out of the rich old white people for something. Also, Blair is playing some weird love triangle with Nate and Chuck. She loves Nate and is basically happy with him, but Chuck is Chuck and that means he's incredibly irresistible, which means no one is happy. This all culminates with Chuck and Blair going to find Georgina Sparks because in some weird, twisted, roofied way, Georgina is the only one that will know if Gabriel is legit. He's not maybe?

While all this is going on, Rufus finds out that selling his art Gallery isn't gonna happen because, oh that's right THE COUNTRY IS POOR. People can't afford to go out and by some tacky art gallery in Brooklyn just because you want to put your kids through college. So, not only does Rufus have the WORST plan to pay for Dan's Yale tuition, he's investing in Gabriel's phantom-save-Africa's-wireless-internet company, but he also lets Dan and Vanessa get wasted in the loft. GO DAD!

Here's next week's preview. Try not to liz.

The Hills: Just Because You Keep Lying, Doesn't Make it Less of a Lie

Let's play a game. It's called "Guess What Happened on The Hills!" Ready? I'll start. Guess what happened on The Hills last night? BUZZ! You're wrong. It was a trick question. See, normally you would say ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and you would be 100% correct. Well, last night they changed that up on us. That's right, something big happened on last night's episode and it made me almost not damn the whole thing to the lowest depths hell. Almost.

During The Hills last night, Heidi's ex-high school boyfriend Colby, that no one knew existed including Heidi until the season premiere a couple of weeks ago, came for a visit. Colby also brought his fake girlfriend along for what could only be considered the best trip of their lives. Heidi was excited for the visit because she wants Spencer to be a better man and what way to mold him into the man she loves than introduce him to someone who already fits her standards.

What followed was one of the weirdest and most awkward moments the show has ever tried to shove down our throats. But, it also provided me with what I can only describe as the tiniest modicum of respect for Spencer Pratt. During Colby and girlfriend's visit, they explained to Spencer and Heidi how they were saving themselves for marriage and how it's all part of God's plan for them. Spencer, took the low road and ended up being the most horribly rude and disrespectful person that his flesh colored rape beard could muster.

Spencer then took Colby out to go boxing, because that's exactly what you do when you have company, you take them boxing right? Renting gloves and other equipment so you can punch out your frustrations in a weak allegory about releasing pent up sexual tension? You know, stuff you do with COMPLETE STRANGERS?! It was hilarious. Every last part of it. What was kind of awesome about it though, was that I finally figured out why Spencer acts the way he does. It's because he's done with this show. Completely and utterly done and has been for a long time. He got exactly what he needed to out of The Hills and now that we know him and Heidi got married this past weekend, there's no reason for him to even try to pretend to care about the show anymore. The show is beyond played out, even for Spencer.

So, with that being said, WHY MTV, WHY ARE YOU EVEN CONTINUING TO AIR THIS SHOW!? I mean, no one cares that Audrina hooked up with Brody. Brody himself didn't even care. He has a girlfriend and he doesn't even care that he fake sexed Ceiling Eyes. If Brody Jenner doesn't care, then why are any of the rest of us expected to?

P.S. - It's too bad that they barely educated the actors playing the Southern Baptists because they really didn't help the case for the show. FORNIFICATION? ARE YOU EFFING SERIOUS?!

Hollywood is Remaking Drop Dead Fred **UPDATE**

One of my friends is absolutely in love with the early 90's movie Drop Dead Fred to the point that I'm pretty sure I can quote most of the lines from it through diffusion. It does have a wonderful charm about it. Plus Phoebe Cates is gorgeous. Well, instead of letting the cult classics remain cult classics, Hollywood has decided to destroy the things we love. Drop Dead Fred is being remade and it will be starring the incredibly polarizing Russell Brand.

Universal is resurrecting "Drop Dead Fred," this time as a starring vehicle for Russell Brand.

Produced by PolyGram and Working Title, the first "Fred" was critically drubbed and commercially unsuccessful. But it did achieve a certain cult status and is considered a film that fell short of its full potential.

The take for the new "Fred" is to make a film in the tone of "Beetlejuice," building a universe around the concept of imaginary friends. Brand would play the trouble-making pal.

Not gonna lie, when I first read this, I was MORTIFIED. I hate Russell Brand. HATE HIM. But then I started thinking about it and, well... he kind of seems like a perfect fit. A loose cannon British actor? Who would fit the bill better? Especially if they're going for a Beetlejuice feel. I think I'm just mad that I have to give this guy another chance when I've completely written him off prior because he was so painfully unfunny.

My friend is gonna sh*t herself.

**UPDATE**

This was my friend's reaction:

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!!!!!?!?!?!??!

BLASPHEMY. DROP DEAD FRED SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE REMADE. IT WAS PERFECT THE FIRST TIME AROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think you really don't understand how distraught I am over this news.

Glorious.

Early Morning Crap

^ Sad Robot is the saddest! [Late Night With Jimmy Fallon]

- FOX has refused to air the Presidential News Conference tomorrow night, instead sticking with Lie to Me and American Idol. That's just fine by me. [TV Guide]

- Hilary Duff will be guesting on Law & Order: SVU tonight and it's more of an adult role. This is also apparently big news. [Zap2It]

- Sorry Harper's Island, but it looks like you will be enjoying the same fate of Kings. Though maybe you just might get to stay on Saturdays to finish your season. [Variety]

- Welp, Sit Down, Shut Up lasted long. After two episodes, FOX has moved it to Sunday nights at 7 pm, which is just about as bad as Saturday night. It was kind of okay knowing you. [TV Squad]

- The Food Network has launched a semi-slick new website, Food2.com, geared towards us 21 to 34 year olds that are interested in food/drinks/pop culture. I'm already interested. [TV Week]

- Really ABC? You're in talks to bring Scrubs back for another season despite the fact that Zach Braff is leaving and half the cast is already in pilots for other shows for next season? Ugh... [EW]

What the Moms On the Net of the Day

This video makes me incredibly happy that my mother was never into surfing the world wide web when it first gained popularity. If I ever caught her sitting at the computer in her mom jeans I convinced her to stop wearing those long before it was too damaging to my high school career I would have slapper her silly. That's not true at all, but I would have thought about it. She does use the internet all the time now, but she's usually wearing hair color stained sweatpants while she reads emails from her sisters while looking up information on weird diseases. Love her. :)




[What the... of the Day via Everything is Terrible]

Daisy of Love Season Premiere

I'm gonna make this short because after watching Daisy of Love, my brain can handle large thoughts. Yeah, Daisy of Love actually happened and now I'm writing about it. It's basically as terrible as you can imagine, maybe even a little bit more so. Vh1 has done these shows so many times now that it's like they've brought in there 14th string's tar-tar siblings to run everything. Nothing about this show has any ounce of love and support that I Love New York or even Real Chance of Love had. Daisy is a wilted clap trap of floppy plastic and so this show.

The show starts off with Daisy introducing herself to her possible suitors in the only trampy, fake way she knows how. She performs a song and dance for them because she is a budding rock star you know. GAG. I don't know what was singing during the song, but it sure as hell was NOT Daisy. When she finally started talking after the song was over, it was like a completely different person was talking. Milli Vanilli say what?

Anyways, the Plastic Daisy gave all of the dudes nicknames that a brain dead child molester would pass out. It was a struggle to say the least. The rest of the show went off just like you'd expect. Lots and lots of drinking. Lots of Daisy and her big fake lips flapping. Then she sent five of the 20 guys home. The creepy Swedish triplets that may or may not have been underage girls, a guy named Torch who clicked to speak and some other loser.

It was all just terrible. I'm not even sure I'm going to be able to make it through the full season I will. And that's a bold statement considering I watch just about everything else that Vh1 puts out. I'll at least give it until next week and the rest of the season, who are we kidding here.

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

Celebrity Apprentice: Week Nine

So I just finished watching last night's episode of Celebrity Apprentice on Hulu because I missed it last night and now I'm mad at myself for wasting about two hours of my day trying to catch up. What a waste. I feel like I've been watching the same episode for about three weeks now. It's the same damn thing each time. Annie Duke is a mega-cword who manipulates and just seems sleazy. Clint Black is stubborn, doesn't listen, and seems kind of aloof to what's going on. Brande is not that bright. Jesse James doesn't talk. Melissa complains the entire time. And Joan is just Joan.

This week, with KOTU being down two members, Donald Trump had Jesse James jump on over to join Joan and Clint. Next, he tasked the two teams with creating a advertorial for Right Guard deodorant that will run in Sports Illustrated. They had some lanky white dude that's apparently an NBA player, who had to be in the ads as well.

As you might expect, on Athena, Annie Duke took control even though Brande was Project Manager. Obvs, that pissed Melissa off so she complained the ENTIRE episode about it. On KOTU, Clint took control but that's because he was the Project Manager. He did kinda use Joan and Jesse's ideas, but most of it was all him. That pissed Jesse off and he sulked the whole time.

FLASH FORWARD TO THE BOARD ROOM WHERE THINGS GET ANNOYINGER... AFTER THE JUMP!



Melissa gets fired and it doesn't go over well in the Rivers family.



After the firing, MELISSA GOES CRAZY. She's running all over the place yelling obscenities and screaming about getting her stuff so she can leave. She's literally running up and down the halls in her stupid boot refusing to talk to anyone. WTF is going on?! She also refused to give a departure interview. It was weird.

The whole thing was really pumped up for no reason. I never asked myself what was o that note because I knew exactly what it was. Melissa was going home. If you paid any attention to that whatsoever, you knew it was coming. Yeah, Joan got a little angry, but it's not like RIVERS DELIVERS happened. She just yelled at Annie Duke. That's happened for the last two episodes. It's kinda getting old. I totes wish Annie was gone because she's a two faced b*tch, but she plays the game well and that's what it's all about. I still don't want to see her win though.

Overall, kind of a lame episode. The only highlights were watching Jesse James lose it on Clint Black. Not because he was angry, but because it was the first time that he's actually talked on the show. The other part was that they were advertising Right Guard deodorant and it was painfully obvious the photographer on their shoot was not wearing any.

Tough Love: Episode 7

Last night's episode of Tough Love was all about the past and making sure that the ladies were able to deal with what's happened to them in the past so that it doesn't interfere with their future. It was also about Arian and her dumb b*tch of a mother. Steve Ward brought a mystery guest from past for each of the ladies to visit with during a dinner party and everything went to hell pretty quickly. Jacklyn's ex came and made her feel uncomfortable because she still kinda liked him. Natasha got WASTED and made a fool of herself. And Arian's mother came to be the spokeswoman for poor parenting.

Basically, Steve wanted to sit down with Arian and her mother and her mother's fug bangs and try to reason with them that Arian really needs to change her whorish ways. Thaaaat's not what happened at all. Arian acted just as whorey around her mother as she does when she's trying to get a dick inserted into one of her orifices. So, when Steve sat down to chat with the mother/daughter combo, Arian's mother treated him like sh*t because she's perfectly fine with her daughter getting Eiffel Towered on the regs. Trash.

Later, during the group session, Arian had a fake panic attack because she didn't want to be put in the Hot Seat for being such a whore. After half the girls tended to her Taylor put it best in one of her intervies, "calm the f*** down" Steve informed Arian that he wasn't going to put her in the Hot Seat, he was just going to send her home because it was obvious she liked being a huge dick receptacle.

That news pissed off Jessa for whatev reason so she started getting lippy with Steve and his mother, JoAnn. Luckily, JoAnn put Jessa in her place for being dumb. By that time though, Arian had finished packing and was just throwing her sh*t down the stairs because she was so pissed. All the other girls agreed that Arian needed to go because she needed real help, so no one really cared that much. Especially Jody, who'd been over that b*tch for weeks.

That's really all that happened this week. The entire show was about Jacklyn freaking out in the beginning and then Arian and her mother being gross. I'm glad she's gone though because she's the perfect example of why dudes don't respect ladies. You don't need to be slutty to be attractive ladies.

Check out the Steve's Rules of Dating after the jump.


We only got one rule this week, which is pretty much bullsh*t. Next week is the season finale of Tough Love and we're missing over half of the rules still. There better be another season! The newest rule is in italics.


1: Don’t be weird.
2: Communication is though.

12: Don’t go fishing for compliments

14: Ladies, if you want to kiss a guy, get a little closer. Send the guy some signals.

19: No room for hypocrisy in dating. If you don’t date down, don’t expect dudes to.

21: Only text on a N2K basis

26: Approach everything with an open mind.

31: When revealing a secret, turn a negative into a positive.

36. A partial truth is still a lie.

44: Keep the past in the past.

58: Don’t bring up your wedding plans

71: Most guys love a good catfight. But none of them want to date the “cat”.

73: Don’t try to outthink love. Love is emotional, not cerebral.

75: Shut your yap. Don’t give too much information
76: First date is never the time to air your dirty laundry

84: Don’t assume that the guy you’re dating looks at a dollar bill the same way you do.

91: Don’t use a secret as a weapon.

100: Everyone gets rejected.

P.S. - Taylor's mom was one of the most glamorous ladies I have ever seen on television. No wonder Taylor looks/acts/is the way she is when you have a mother that looks like this:

Early Morning Crap

^ I need to listed to this every morning when I wake up. [BuzzFeed]

- ABC took Thursday night ratings meaning they are now leading sweeps. Despite some slightly lower ratings, Parks and Recreation and Southland continue to do well for NBC. [Variety]

- Dean McDermott announced that he hasn't been having enough sex with his wife Tori Spelling. The world's population subsequently announced that they can't stop voming. [Zap2It]

- How will the Nathan vs. Sylar fight end up tonight on Heroes season finale?! Adrian Pasdar gives some hints one what to expect. [TV Guide]

- In addition to that, Angela and Peter Petrelli, as well as HRG give some insight to the season finale tongith also. Who's gonna be the one to die!? [theTVaddict]

- During the credits of The Simpsons last night, instead of the regular song that normally plays, an a capella version from YouTube was played. It was obnoxious obvs. [TV Squad]

Carrie Fisher Nails George Lucas

Not in that way you dirty minded turds. Carrie Fisher took jab after jab at George Lucas during his roast and absolutely tore it up. She's an incredible comedic actress to begin with, but pairing her with roasting the man that basically gave her the career she's had, be it blessing or curse, was pretty damn hilarious. She delivers every line with the biting bit of sarcasm and a tinge of hate that George Lucas deserves. She even goes after Natalie Portman!

Carrie Fisher, you are my current hero.




[via BuzzFeed]

Another SBTB Cast Member Joins The Reunion Effort

As you probably know, Late Night With Jimmy Fallon has been working to reunite the cast of Saved By the Bell for a few weeks now and things seemed to be going pretty well with Mr. Belding and Lisa Turtle both on board. Well on Friday's episode of LNWJF, things took a turn for the worse when people stopped signing the petition... That's when Jimmy got some help from a surprise guest...



So, now they're up to three cast members! I have a feeling that Dustin Diamond will be the biggest hold out over the whole thing. I mean honestly, what is Elizabeth Berkley doing these days?

RIP Bea Arthur

A crushingly sad event happened today. Bea Arthur passed away from her battle with cancer. She was 86 years young. Though there aren't any details to her passing, her personal assistant stated,

"She was a brilliant and witty woman. Bea will always have a special place in my heart."

Bea Arthur was best known for her roles as Maude from All in the Family and Maude, and especially for her role as Dorothy Zbornak in the legendary show Golden Girls. She will be greatly missed.

Rest in peace Bea Arthur.


[source]