Programming Note

I'm gonna be traveling in a car to Ohio today so, I won't be doing much today. Check out my interview with Marissa Jaret Winokur over her nothing in particular down below! It's AWWWESOME!

I'll be back later today with a review of DANCE YOUR ASS OFF but until then, enjoy this video of a man jumping out of a helicopter and catching a marlin. WTFRENCH?!

Dance Your Ass Off Premiere Party What What!

Okay, let's first get over the fact that I look like a doofus with wrinkled pants and poor posture and move onto the fact that Marissa Jaret Winokur looks stunning with her perfect hair and awesome breasts. Great. Glad we've made it that far.

Tonight I went to the exclusive it makes me feel special if I keep adding in that it was invite only premiere party for Dance Your Ass Off, a new show on Oxygen about biggin's dancing to lose weight. It sounded fun and there was free alcohol and food so it's basically a no brainer. Aaand I got to see the show before the general public.... by like 3 hours, but whatevs, it's still be for everyone else. And that counts.

Well, it would have counted if I would have shown up on time.

Grab a box or 6 of donuts, because you've got one hell of a read after the jump...



I missed my train from the Jersey I know to NYC because I couldn't find my wallet which turned up right where I thought it was, but didn't look hard enough. So, I got in a bit late, but made it to the building where Oxygen's HQ was and where the party was at. Unfortunately, walking through the building trying to find the elevator was like trying to find an elevator in an elevator stack. Plus, the security guards stationed around the area were about as helpful as a bunch of clueless dudes that don't speak English very well... wait? Once I found the elevator plastered with Marrisa Jaret Winokur's image and the DYAO logo, I figured that was a good place to start. Press the Up button. Wait. Watch doors open. Walk inside. Press 7. Watch doors close. Wait. Look down at the 7 button that's not lit up. Press again. And again. And again. And again. Feel like an idiot in an elevator that's not going anywhere. Press it again. Again. Again. Press Doors Open button. Get out. Walk away like I had come from a higher floor.

Finally, once a guard directed my seemingly blind person eyes to the correct elevator, I made my way up to the party. Once I walked in, I picked up my name badge or credentials as I like to call them I realized everyone was already there and watching the premiere. So, I sat down right in the front like the loser in your college English 2 class that thrived on learning about correct citations and finished watching the last 1/4 of the premiere. Dumbass.

After the episode finished and a nice lady asked if we enjoyed it, she welcomed us to talk with Marissa who was sitting in the row next to me and partake in the free food and booze. So, I decided booze was just what I needed. I got myself a drink and started looking around for someone or something familiar. Not noticing aaaaanyone, I got some food and sat down. While there, I got out my notebook and started trying to think of questions to ask Marissa, but my brain was suffering from idiot and I couldn't come up with anything. Luckily, my roommate that I called came through with some questions and I jotted them down.

As I sat there trying to look like I knew what I was doing, I was approached by some woman who said she knew me but ended up not being able to remember why. Then the woman I had been in contact with about the show and who invited me found me and we talked for a while. She's good peeps. It was great to meet her.

Next thing you know, I'm standing by myself, looking like a creeper, holding my notebook like a rere, and trying to look like I'm not partially debating on whether I should just skip out on the whole "talk to Marissa" thing and bail because I get nervie around famous people. Before I could act on that stupid thought though, Marissa caught my attention and excused herself from a convo so she could talk to me. AAHHH! She pointed at me and told me to come on over. We introduced ourselves and I immediately knew that I was talking to one of the most genuinely awesome and fun people I've ever randomly met. She's also TINY! The picture above shows our height, and I'm like 5'10" and she had on like 700 inch heals. How she was waltzing around in those things I won't ever know. Beautiful lady on the inside and out.

It all started off when I told her I wrote for a blog called I Matt My Pants that focuses on television/internetjunk/popculture - with a lot of that being spent on reality TV. Marissa exclaimed that "that's all anyone watches anyway" and I knew that I was destined to have this interview with her. The rest of the introduction went on like this:

Marissa: When people ask me what my favorite show is, I say, I only watch one scripted show.

IMMP: That's fine, reality shows are kind of awesome.

Marissa: Like, when they ask me what reality shows I watch, I'm like, I have an entire list [huge sweeping arm motions demonstrating massive list size]

IMMP: That's hilarious and I'm so happy you love these shows.

Marissa: Oh yeah, even the crap on Vh1, like Daisy of Love.

IMMP: OH MY GOD.

M <-we're totes BFF now, so I call her "M": THEY BROUGHT LONDON BACK!!!

IMMP: I KNOW!!!

M: I couldn't believe it! I was like, why don't they just bring everyone back, jeeze!

[I was literally dying at that point knowing that we both enjoy watching the same hilariously terrible Vh1 reality show.]

IMMP: It's so stupid, why would they ever bring him back?

M: He's going to end up with his own show.

[dead]

IMMP: I KNOW! And I'll watch that too.

We talked a little more about how awesome reality shows are and then I started with my questions...

IMMP: What three songs would you Dance Your Ass Off to?

M: Do you want me to tell you that or what songs I currently dance my ass off to?

IMMP: Yes, that please.

M: Well, let's see, what's on my workout mix. Uh... okay Queen. Don't Stop Me Now.

IMMP: Perfect.

M: What else... oh! Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed about this one.

IMMP: Don't be embarrassed.

M: No, it's so embarrassing, seriously.

IMMP: It's fine, just tell me.

M: Kelly Clarkson.

IMMP: WHY WOULD YOU EVER BE EMBARRASSED...

M: You know, her knew song... what's it called [she sings a little bit of the chorus] My Life Would Suck!

IMMP: Why would you be embarrassed over Kelly Clarkson? That song is great I love KC btw.

M: I don't know, okay... um, what other song... okay so I know this is old, but I am trying to learn the Single Ladies dance like everyone else.

IMMP: Awesome.

M: Oh my God! Don't write that. This is embarrassing. Kelly Clarkson and Beyonce?! You can't put that down. People are going to think I'm weird. Fuck it, put it down.

IMMP: No, they'll think you're normal.

M: Uhhh... and a Bon Jovi song.

[I draw a blank]

M: You know, that one... I can't even think of the words. It's like [makes up inspirational song lyrics about rising to the top, etc.]

[still blank]

M: You know, it's about like empowering...

IMMP: You mean all of their songs?

M: Hahaha, well I can't think of it, you'll have to look it up. BUT! Write this down. IT'S NOT LIVING ON A PRAYER!!!!!

[literally die from laughter. on the floor... dead]

IMMP: Okay, I know that this is like a "let's get healthy and lose weight, kinda feel good show," buuuuut what's you're favorite sandwich?

M: [looks at me with a disgusted face] Are you fucking kidding me? Just because they're trying to lose weight doesn't mean I can't eat fatty food. I loooooooove this sandwhich, it's Cuban, it's called a Ropa Vieja sandwich. I don't know how to spell that or if I'm even saying right.

IMMP: That's fine, I can look it up.

M: It's Cuban and it's awesome. It's got torn meat on it and peppers and this sauce. It's wonderful. I feed it to Zev, he's my 11 month old, I don't know if he should be eating it, but he loves it so...

IMMP: It's sounds awesome.

M: It's so good. I love it.

IMMP: Okay, this is kind of a stereotypical question, but... What is your dream musical role?

M: To be honest, I think I already had it. In Hairspray, as Tracy Turnblad... it was just perfect. When I came back to close the show, I thought to myself, this is what it's like when someone says "this is what they are born to do." I really felt that way. It was wonderful.

IMMP: That's really great.

M: I would love to have an older role. I always thought that I would be doing Broadway for the rest of my life, but I've done other stuff, and I'm doing this. I would just like to have an older role. I've never had anything over the age of 16. I mean, I'm 36 now and...

IMMP: You're 36!??!

M: Haha, yeah.

IMMP: Holy crap, you look so young. Not in like that imature, can't play older, kinda way...

M: Hahaha, I know. Thank you though. I know what you mean. I tell myself I'm gonna go back when I'm 40 and see what happens.

IMMP: Okay, I know you said you don't watch many scripted shows, but have you seen FOX's Glee?

M: Are you fucking serious!?

IMMP: Well, I was just checking!

M: Matthew Morrison was with me in Hairspray and...

IMMP: I just wanted to make sure, haha.

M: It's the best new show on television. I love it. I absolutely love it. I watched the premiere like 7 times before it actually aired. Matthew brought it over. He's like my son's unofficial Godfather. He's great. He actually stayed at my house while he was auditioning. He lives here [New York] and we live out in LA. When he's out there he stays at our place.

IMMP: That's so awesome.

M: He had is ukulele there and was rehearsing songs for his audition. It was great. He even learned my our wedding song and sang it for us. With the ukulele. It was wonderful.

IMMP: Awww.

M: Then he got the part and did the pilot and I did end up watching it live with everyone and I was online typing to everyone "DON'T FORGET GLEE IS ON TONIGHT." It's fantastic. Tell everyone to watch Glee. Ugh, but FOX doesn't know how to launch a show in the fall.

IMMP: I know!!!!!! [I was crapping myself that she knew this. Seriously, if she wasn't already married, I probably would have done her right then and there in front of the rest of the group. There was a couch near by]

M: But SYTYCD is coming back in the fall so they're going to pair it up.

IMMP: That is a really good fit. I really hope that it works. It just makes me nervous that they premiered it so early...

M: Because they had it and wanted to get it out with Idol.

IMMP: Yeah!

M: I think it will be okay. I hope it will.

IMMP: Well, my actual question is, would you ever be on the show.

M: Fuck yes I would. Yes. I would love to. Love to!

IMMP: Will you? I mean, are there any talks about it?

M: I can say that there have been no talks. But, if you and your bloggers want to start a petition to get me on the show, I'd be fine with that.

IMMP: I'll see what I can do! You seem like the perfect fit for that kind of show!

M: Didn't Lisa Rinna start a petition to be on Melrose Place.

IMMP: I'm not sure, but probably. It sounds like her.

M: Yeah it does.

As we were finishing up our conversation, she asked me what blog I wrote for again and I said "I Matt My Pants" and she kind of paused and thought for a moment and said... "I think I read your blog today."






WHAT?!


M: Yeah, earlier today I read I Matt My Pants.

IMMP: Are you serious!?

M: Yeah, did you write about the show earlier?

IMMP: Yes, right before I left to come here!

M: Yep, I read it. Okay, here's the thing. I've said this in interviews before, sooo... I kind of like to Google myself and well, your blog came up on my Google Alert, like an hour before I came here.

[dead on the floor, shifting in and out of states of conscience, barely alive, dead...]

IMMP: That is awesome! AWESOME!

M: Yeah, and now I'm gonna read your blog later, so you better write something nice!

IMMP: Don't worry, I definitely will!

M: Wouldn't it be funny if you went home and were like, "I met Marissa and she was a huge bitch! She was rude and awful...

[we both start laughing]

IMMP: Thank you so much for everything.

M: It was wonderful meeting you, thank you.

[we hug. I rose to heaven]

M: Tell everyone to watch GLEE!!!!

---------------------------------

As we said our goodbyes, she told me how great it was that I was blogging and told me to keep it up because you never know what might happen with it. She said it was awesome that I was just doing it and to keep on doing it. Totally the best celebrity I have ever met.

I also met two of the girls from Evil Beet Gossip who were pretty tall and very nice. One of them said she had heard of my blog before which basically made me sh*t a brick. Seriously?! How could it get any better?

All in all, it was a great night and a great experience. I'm so lucky to have had the opportunity! thanks Kat for the invite!

Don't Forget to Watch "Dance Your Ass Off"

Tonight is the series premiere of OXYGEN's new weight-loss/dancing/competition show, Dance Your Ass Off. The show airs at 10 p.m. and features 12 contestants, both men and women as they compete to lose the most weight and avoid eliminations for the grand prize of $100,000. Aaaand, the show is hosted by Marissa Jaret Winokur of Hairspray fame.

I'm going to the premiere party tonight, hosted by Wiredset and Oxygen and it should be a pretty good time. I mean, open bar and free food - that's basically insta-win. Plus, MJ-dubs is set gonna be there so hopefully I can get a couple pics for bragging rights you know, bragging to all my mother who's obsessed with the movie. Yeah, I'll rub it in her face. I'll be twittering throughout the whole thing, so if you want to check me out on twitter, you can follow me: @imattmypants.

You can check out a little big? preview of tonight's premiere after the jump!

Leighton Meester and Cobra Starship Together at Last?

Everyone's well, at least my favorite Gossip Girl star who also not too long ago scored a record deal has her first big musical gig with everyone's well, at least my favorite group that was made famous for a song about snakes on a plane. Together, they've made a video about everyone's well, at least my favorite kind of girl... good ones that go bad. The even made a video together.

That's right, Leighton Meester and Cobra Starship have released a new single and the accompanying video does everything in it's power to make you think it's about something when it's really just about people partying in a hidden speak easy below a bodega that Blair Waldorf goes to bust people because she's an undercover agent. Duh, drinking's illegal during the the prohibition years of 2009 to doesn't make sense.

I'm not gonna lie though, I have a thing for Miss Meester and do kiiiiinda enjoy the song, so if this helps the media get off her back about the no-one-cares-footjob-sex-tape, then so be it. Good girls gone bad go good again am I right?

30 "Must Have" Products Sold By Billy Mays

Billy Mays was a one of the greatest salesmen of all time and he definitely has the track record to prove it. Mr. Thumbs Up rose to fame when he was hired by Orange Glo Int. to help pitch their line of cleaning products. With his husky, loud, sometimes abbrasive voice, his overly positive attitude, and his affinity to up-thumbing things, sales of his products quickly increased and Billy became an international As Seen On TV superstar. His first big infomercial was for everyone's favorite oxygen inspired cleaning product OxiClean which promised to harness the power of oxygen to clean with the power of bleach, but without the harsh chemical side effects.

From that point on, Mays went on to star in dozens upon dozens of infomercials hawking everything from hooks to food choppers to life insurance no joke. So, in honor of Billy and all the things he made me buy that I didn't need/want/use, I bring you 30 yes 30 commercials that you know and love along some that you've probably never seen before that Billy Mays starred in.

Thumbs up Billy. Thumbs up...

1. OxiClean Detergent Ball


2. Orange Clean


3. Orange Glo


Check out the rest after they jump!!!


4. Kaboom NeverScrub


5. Kaboom


6. Mighty Putty


7. Handy Switch


8. Samurai Shark


9. Engrave-It


10. Jupiter Jack


11. Quick Chop


12. The Awesome Auger


13. The Gopher


14. Grabit


15. Vidalia Chop It


16. Vidalia Slice It


17. Vidalia Slice Wizard


18. iCan Health Insurance


19. Grater Plater


20. Gator Blades


21. Steam Buddy


22. Zorbeez


23. Hercules Hook


24. Tool Band-it


25. EZBundler


26. Ding King


27. Impact Gel


28. What Odor?


29. Big City Slider


30. Mighty Mend It

Billy Mays is in the Big Oxi Clean Clouds in the Sky

As I'm sure all of you know, Billy Mays, the forever CAPS LOCKED spokesman for many of the As See On TV products we've come to know and order in secret passed away yesterday at the age of 50. His wife found him unresponsive when she woke up on Sunday morning and he was pronounced dead at 7:45 a.m. The cause of death is unknown at this point in time.

The greatest pitchman of our time had just flown back from Philadelphia from taping an Oxi Clean commercial. His plane, upon landing, busted a tire and the passengers on board experienced a rough landing. Mays told a news station that: "All of a sudden as we hit you know it was just the hardest hit, all the things from the ceiling started dropping," he said. "It hit me on the head, but I got a hard head."

It is unknown whether this had anything to do with his death though Mays had complained of not feeling well before going to bed the night before.

Cripes, why are all these celebrities dying!? What is going on with the world right now. I'm calling it now - beginning of the end. BEGINNING OF THE END! There's no other rhyme or reason that these people should be leaving the world of the living so quickly. Start lighting candles for your other fave celebs because it's going to be a loooong summer.

Early Morning Crap

^ Jimmy Fallon beat Tiger Woods at Tiger Woods PGA Tour 10 for the Wii in the middle of Times Square. [LNWJF Blog]

- Farrah Fawcett's private funeral service has been planned for Tuesday in Los Angeles. [Zap2It]

- Spider-Man the musical has cast Mary Jane and the Green Goblin as Evan Rachel Wood and Alan Cumming respectively which means this musical is really, actually happening. [TV Guide]

- The Broadcast Networks are floundering in the summer ratings race, often times being beaten out by it's cable relatives. [Variety]

- The White House doesn't like to talk about things because it's afraid that it might end up on The Daily Show. [TV Squad]

- Paula Abdul might be choreographing a Michael Jackson tribute for SYTYCD, that is, if she's not sucking down gallons of crazy from a coke cup. [Watch with Kristin]

- Despite the pretty negative response from critics, Transformers 2 has managed to make over $200 million in just five days - proving once again you can't deny the power of robots, explosions and Megan Fox. [Hollywood Insider]

Goodnight...

...and have a great weekend.

Commercial of the Week

I have been seeing this commercial a lot more frequently over the last week or two though I originally saw it probably a month ago. It's a Trojan Condoms commercial so it's obviously already sexually charged from the get go. Though it might just be a little more tasteful than some of the other recent sexual innuendo ads out there. But that's only because it includes a mime and mime's are from France and French stuff is classier than anything American.

So, here's your Commercial of the Week - a mime putting a condom on a giant invisible penis.

Late Lunch Indigestion - *MJ EDITION*

^ I've seriously watched this about 27 different times on MTV today. I'm ridiculous. [MTV]

- Elizabeth Taylor finally releases a statement about the loss of her friend. [dlisted]

- 50 pictures of Michael Jackson with his famous friends. Did he seriously know all of these people or were they just photo ops? [BWE]

- Bubbles wasn't the only party animal to be part of the King of Pop's animal addiction. [People]

- Debbie Rowe just might getting custody of the kids after all. Imagine the child support checks that come with that responsibility?? [TMZ]

- Even Pres. Obama had a few things to say about MJ. I'm pretty sure by the time all of this is said and done probs never every celebrity on the planet will have said something about him. [Pop Crunch]

- Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcet tributes will be all over TV this weekend, you know in case you forgot about their deaths. [THR]

- The 911 call made when Michael Jackson was found. I didn't listen to it soooo, listen at your own risk. [MSNBC]


-------------------------------

This will probably be the last post about Michael Jackson that I make unless something huge comes up. Sorry for what seemed like MJ-Day on here, but well, he was the King of Pop.

What the Shark Eating a Dead Horse of the Day??

**WARNING**

The following video is a bit graphic for all you Sally's out there.

So some dudes on a fishing trip near Fiji came across a dead horse in the water. One can assume it died of natural causes and not wanting to dig a big giant whole for a horse, the owners dumped it in the water wear it would become a natural coral reef in a few years or something. Anyway, while they were taping the seemingly hilarious sight of a dead horse in the water, a shark starts chomping away on it.

WHAT?! Yeah! A shark!

This is really only funny because when do you ever see a dead horse just floating along in water and secondly, when have you ever seen a shark eating a horse. That's totes something I would have drawn when I was 8 yrs old and shown to my mother who would have responded with "honey, that can't happen, sharks live in water and horses live on land."

Suck it mom.


[via Videogum]

Dina Had the Jersey Wedding to End All Jersey Weddings

Well what do you know, Dina of Real Housewives of NJ fame isn't a Jersey girl afraid of the reality show genre. Bitch has done this all before and it was even trashier than it was on Housewives. Yes, Dina Manzo was previously on Vh1's reality show My Big Fat Fabulous Wedding where she threw herself the most ridiculously gaudy New Jersey wedding I have ever seen.

How much would such a wedding for the constantly sour-puss face broad cost? Upwards of $1.1 million. Wait until you see the cake, the flowers, and one of the tackiest looking dresses I've ever seen. Granted, this is come from Dina, so it really shouldn't be all that surprising.

After watching this though, it begs the question: Why would Tony, Dina's husbo, openly appear on this show for Vh1 but not appear on Housewives for BRAVO? Did something happen with his mafia ties between then and now that he doens't want be unearthed? -highly likely Does he hate BRAVO? -partially likely Or does he just not like being a reality TV star? -not likely whatsover.

It's a fun watch, especially if you're in the mood to be horrified at excessive spending.


P.S. - Watch for the Caroline cameo.


[via Megan In Manhattan]

Michael Jackson Did More Than Just Sing/Dance/Weird People Out

He also starred in his own video game based off of his Moonwalker film. That's right, Michael Jackson had a video game that came out for the Sega Genesis back in the day. Moonwalker had the player controlling Michael as he danced his way through dangerous locales and fought of bad guys by dancing them away. Seriously. He also rescued children that sped away on a ray of light once saved. Also seriously. He later turns into a giant robot just like the movie!! Check out some gameplay if you're a Doubty Derrick.

I never had a Genesis totes a Super Nintendo kid but one of my friends had this game and I remember marveling at how awesome it was to play as Michael Jackson.... until we died because the game was so hard.


[via MTV Multiplayer Blog]

Real Housewives of New Jersey - Reunion Snooze

Amidst the pop culture catastrophe last night, there were a few other things to whittle away the time with. A terrible example of that includes the second and thankfully final part of The Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion. The first part, which aired on Tuesday, was so incredibly dull that I don't even know why it was actually given any air time. If I wanted to watch a bunch of boring old broads talk fake-nice to each other, I'd go hang out at my g-ma's during euchre night. It was one of the worst Housewives reunions I've seen and was pretty pissed that BRAVO tricked me into actually watching it thinking there was gonna be some heavy handed drama. Literally nothing happened. Nothing. A bunch of plastic zombies sat on a couch with a fake Perez Hilton in a vapid void of vaniloquence word of the day ftw.

So, we could only assume that Part 2 would be totally worth it right? I mean they showed previews of Caroline crying and looking like a Koopa Troopa while doing so and accusing Danielle of doing something awful. It had to be good.


WRONG.


More after the jump...



It was juuuuust as painful to get through as the first part, with a big dumb "cliffhanger" at the end that I suppose is supposed to keep us interested until next season, but instead just pissed me off because it was overly dramatic I almost threw up from force fed theatrics. Hardly a word is exchange during the whole episode until around 9:47 when the discussion about THE BOOK finally comes up.



Danielle surprisingly takes the high road and apologizes for the way in which she reacted to the whole thing, for slandering Dina around town and that she's ashamed of how she acted on the show. I have a lot of respect for Danielle just because she seems like a sad little girl on the inside that just wants someone to love her trapped in a grown up cougar body seemingly addicted to sex because it gives her a sense of belonging. I'm also incredibly impressed with Dina who accepted the apology and even admitted that they could one day be friends if what Danielle claimed about changing was true.

Caroline on the other hand, ughh... I though the behemoth was gonna let loose and go crazy on Danielle. FAIL. Instead, she started crying over something that Danielle said/attempted/did that never actually amounted to anything. Even Dina was like, "bitch please, nothing happened, calm down." But, Caroline and her turtle-cry face kept yelling about how she'd do anything to protect her nottiedtothemafia family and how disgraceful Danielle was for what she said/attempted/did. Get over yourself lady. You said you didn't want your family to come off looking like they hated everyone other than their own kind, then stop hating everyone other than your own family. I seriously thought Dina was a big Mega-C, but I was horribly mistaken. It was you all along.

What a waste. I want my two hours back BRAVO. I could have used it to watch more Michael Jackson videos. Thanks.

Early Morning Crap

^ The Idols practice their Glee routine for their tour. Danny Gokey looks like a turd. [Give Me My Remote]

- Joanna Garcia of Privileged fame has been cast in a three episode arch on Gossip Girl as Nate's newest love interest. My guesses is that Nate ends up ruining the relationship because he still has feelings for Serena/Vanessa/Blair/Jenny/Chuck/Dan/Rufus/The Duchess/etc. [Ausiello Files]

- CBS is readying Project LENO to help boost awareness of their own 10 p.m. shows against NBC's late night offering. Hopefully it works. [Variety]

- Letterman beat out O'Brien in the ratings last week no doubt due to help from Gov. Palin. To retaliate, O'Brien will have the ghost of Ed McMahon on all next week too soon? [Zap2It]

- Danielle from Real Housewives of NJ was able to convince a judge to prevent her ex from releasing a sex tape. You know that it's probably Caroline behind the whole thing. [TV Guide]

- The top three from I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here all have books/shows/work-out-videos they have in the works. I'm personally looking forward to a cook book totally dedicated to rice and beans. [Watch with Kristin]

- Oprah's gift to all her staffers of a luxury cruise might turn into a big tax headache. So much for Oprah's favorite things. Next year it will be Oprah's favorite tax evasion techniques. [NYP]

Michael Jackson Has Died

After TMZ reported that the King of Pop had died, it has now been confirmed by the LA Times, the King of Pop has passed away. He suffered a cardiac arrest in his home in Los Angeles and was taken to a hospital where doctors tried to revive him, but could not.

[Updated at 3:15 p.m.: Pop star Michael Jackson was pronounced dead by doctors this afternoon after arriving at a hospital in a deep coma, city and law enforcement sources told The Times.]

[Updated at 2:46 p.m.: Jackson is in a coma and his family is arriving at his bedside, a law enforcement source told The Times.

Jackson was rushed to Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center this afternoon by Los Angeles Fire Department paramedics.

Fire Capt. Steve Ruda said paramedics responded to a call at Jackson's home at 12:26 p.m. He was not breathing when they arrived. The paramedics performed cardiopulmonary resuscitation and took him to the hospital, Ruda told The Times.

I'm seriously in shock over this. I don't really know what to say other than that prayers go out to the Jackson family.

One of my fondest memories as a child of the 80's was dancing to his music videos on MTV. When I called my mom to chat with her about it, she told me how she could still remember when my brother sister and I would be playing in the living room and if a Michael Jackson video came on TV, we basically stopped and were mesmerized by his performances. A truly great performer.

RIP Michael.

I'm a Celebrity...The Finale

Last night, after three excruciatingly long weeks, was the season finale of I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here. I have sat through every single episode of this garbage and somehow managed to keep my sanity through out the whole season. At this point in the show, I was pretty much over the shock factor and really only still watching to see which of the celebrities made a lasting impression on America. Seriously, after the first week of watching them eat insects and dead things, wade through baby crocs with their mouths tied shut btdubs, be covered in eel slime, and blindly fondling tarantulas and reptiles - you don't really care what the challenges were any more because it was just more of the same.

Lou Diamond Phillips ended up winning the whole thing, which wasn't really a surprise. He was kind of Mr. Awesome throughout the entire competition. The other big draw to the finale was all the previous contestants minus Frangela - what the french? were there to do nothing. They seriously did nothing while they were there. It was pretty lame. We did get the nice picture of Janice Dickinson from above though. What in the melted-Barbie-faced hell is wrong with her face?!

For some brain dead reason, Heidi and Spencer were back and contributed nothing but sucking the integrity out of everyone around them. It's unfortunate that the show, in the beginning, was definitely all about them. I hate that NBC sucked non-MTV watching America into following the unfortunate lives of two of the world's worst human beings. What's worse is that apparently, the act that those two excused-abortions were putting on, was more real than we know. In an exclusive interview with Vera Sweeney over at I'm Not Obsessed, Speidi acted like total twat-waffles even after their time on the show ended.

Spencer walked the perimeter of the hotel holding a Bible and SCREAMED the scriptures as loud as he could. He did this back and forth for everyone to hear.

Heidi kept talking about her favorite $28,000 bag.

Spencer and Heidi said they want to have children and soon because ‘God needs good children and they could produce good children’. They then began to question why the owners of the hotel decided to not have children and insisted they needed to find Jesus over their decision.

Spencer ran up to someone and said he smelt the presence of the Lord and then started screaming and jumped in the river with all his clothes on.

Ugh, I really wish that I didn't care, but I do. I hate these two like I hate centipedes. And I hate that hating them is exactly what Spencer Pratt wants me to do.

Overall, I'm just glad this damn show is over with so I can move on. It's like I was in a terrible relationship that I wanted out of but wouldn't pull the trigger because I didn't want to be the one that did the breaking so I just waited until the other person died of natural causes. Win/win people.

"Cat Ladies" Looks to be the Funniest Unintentionally Funny Documentary of the Year

Here is something fun for all of you single ladies out there. An in depth look at a possibly future version of yourself should you fail to ever find that one special person to spend the rest of you life with. Cat Ladies looks to really give the world a close and personal look at the life of women living with crippling loneliness and an exorbitant amount of cats is like.

Sure the moniker of "Crazy Cat Lady" may be used to describe some women in a false and negative manner, but in the case of this documentary, I'm pretty sure that it's about as accurate as you're going to get. I love the woman that's kind of the young, semi-attractive one that finds nothing wrong with owning 16 cats, but by golly, if she owned 30... theeeen she would be a crazy cat lady. Because it's only reaches levels of what-the-french-am-I-doing when you've crossed the big 3 Oh no.

The part towards the end of the trailer when the particularly meowt-there woman was trapping cats in the wild to bring home is actually pretty upsetting. I wonder what she does with the bodies of those that have moved on to a better and more sane life? Guesses on how many freezers full of dead cats she has in her basement?

No less than 4.

[via BWE]

VH1 Keeps It In the Family

Frank AKA The Entertainer has been given his own show on Vh1 that seeks out the sluttiest/aspergeriest/STDiest girls across America to compete for his sex love. And good news ladies that fit the description, they're casting right now!

VH1 and the Producers who brought you I LOVE MONEY, I LOVE NEW YORK, REAL CHANCE OF LOVE, FOR THE LOVE OF RAY J and ROCK OF LOVE bring you THE ENTERTAINER OF LOVE.

VH1’s favorite 30-year-old-who-lives-with-his-parents is getting his own show! Frank, better known as THE ENTERTAINER, will live, with, romance and date over 15 girls in his search to find that one true love and all under the watchful eye of his mom and dad!

Hey, you marry the Frank…you marry the family!

Producers are looking for sexy, single women who have a big heart and big personality to live in a house and compete for the love of THE ENTERTAINER.

The fans have spoken and America wants to see more of THE ENTERTAINER!

Please email us your:

• Name
• Age
• City and state where you live
• Phone number
• Email address
• A recent PHOTO
• A brief bio telling us: 1) Who you are AND 2) Why you would be the perfect girl for THE ENTERTAINER.

Send email to TheEntertainer@IconicCasting.com

As much as I want to make fun of this show and how terrible it's going to be, I will definitely be watching every minute of it. Plus, this show just has to be better than Daisy of Love, but that's not saying much considering that I'm pretty sure Daisy's mother drank the entire time she was pregnant with her. It's the only excuse! Who's pumped for this one!?

If I Had a Job...

...or any source of viable income, I would probably purchase this shirt and wear it all the time. Yeah, I know Keyboard Cat is kind of a life time ago in internet years, but still, look how cute he is on that shirt! It's like he's judging you because you suck at playing video games! And plus, he's in his 8-bit form which I lurrrrve. ADORABLE.

Purchase your own right here.



[via GoNintendo]

Laurie From "She's Got the Look" is MUCH MUCH MUCH Crazier Than First Imagined

Welp, Laurie continues to try and defend her bad case of the crazies, but seriously only makes me think that there is something definitely wrong with her brain. Yesterday, Laurie gave her bizarre explanation on why she took her top off on She's Got the Look and then requested to leave the show. Today, she has three new videos, each falling a little lower on the sane-o-meter.

In the first one, Laurie just can't believe that anyone was actually shocked by her actions because we went through Bill and Hillary Clinton and because Miss California "said something about homosexual!" HOW CAN YOU BE SHOCKED?!



Hit the jump for the other two - one of which, Laurie lists all of her boxes that she fits into aaaaaaaaand Laurie knows what age she'll be when she "goes before God."




Here's Laurie telling us that she's probably going to live to 113.



And my personal fave, Laurie comes up with all the boxes that people could put her in to define her as a person. Plus, Laurie tells us that she had a near death experience and traveled to another dimension and knows what's waiting for us!!



She's so sane it hurts.

Early Morning Crap

^Best of Dwight and Jim pranks from The Office! [NBC]

- Eddie Cibrian and his ridiculous good looks will be joining one of the worst shows on television for it's upcoming 8th season. [TV Guide]

- Vh1 and the History Channel are collaborating on a documentary about Woodstock which will air on both networks. I'm assuming the doc will be called, Woodstock of Love or For the Love of Woodstock II. [Variety]

- America's Got Talent premiered to some lower numbers than last year, but still did pretty well. The down tick can most likely be attributed to the fact that America doesn't have a Susan Boyle. [Zap2It]

- American Dad is better than Family Guy? I'll believe it when I see both of them aren't on the air anymore. [TV Squad]

- Rosie O'Donnell is getting her own Sirius XM radio show which promises to be as entertaining as Rosie O'Donnell's variety show that we all forgot happened last year. [EW]

- G4 is going to be airing Comic-Con!! Nerds everywhere rejoice with me! [TV Week]

This is Why I Love Kelly Clarkson

Because I refuse to really give any more attention to the Perez/BEP/STFU crap that's going on yeah I know I just did, shut up, I haven't really mentioned anything about it. Buuuuut, Kelly Clarkson's seemingly genuine reaction to the whole situation during a radio interview just made me smile too much to pass up. Plus, I'm kind of obsessed with her music. YOU CAN'T JUDGE THE TRUTH! what?


[via videogum]

The Only Thing More Hilarious That Laurie's Freak Out on "She's Got the Look" is Laurie's Explanation for Said Freak Out

Last week, on She's Got the Look, we were treated to Laurie having a complete meltdown because in her mind, she wasn't there to compete, she was there to protect and help the other ladies in the old lady modeling competition. It was some serious Gary Busey/Celeb Rehab season 2 sh*t. She got naked, talked crazy talk, and then ran off the stage like a true bag of insane.

Welp, luckily it wasn't the last of Laurie. She has since made a video to explain her departure from the show and it's about as nonsensical as you can imagine. Seriously, she's out of her mind delusional to the point that I stopped laughing part way through the video because I realized how faaaaaaaar out there she is. Granted, I started laughing a few short seconds later, but still.

She's the kind of crazy that gives Christian's a bad, paint chip/paste eating bad name. Also, whoever did her eye makeup was just seeing how much they could cake on before she noticed. It's glamorous. I just wish those were butterfly clips in her hair

Early Morning Crap

^ Zachary Quinto falls while walking a dog with a man dressed as a slab of meat. You know, the yoozh. [BWE]

- Speaking of whatever, Bryan Fuller is leaving Heroes... again. It makes me nervous for the show, but I've got faith it won't suck it hard like previous seasons. [theTVaddict]

- MTV is absolutely determined to ruin everything that it touches. First music, then Nick and Jessica, and now Teen Wolf. [Zap2It]

- Jon & Kate brought in record ratings for TLC on Monday. Like the old saying goes, one couples divorce is another networks smash viewer success! [Variety]

- Elisabeth Hasselbeck is being sued for plagiarism for her new gluten-free lifestyle book. You know Rosie O'Donnell is behind this. [TV Guide]

- Eve is joining Glee for a few episodes. It was supposed to be Whitney Houston, but I guess Eve is a good enough substitute??? [Ausiello Files]

- Stephen Baldwin had an infestation of fly larvae in his skin from being in the jungle for I'm a Celebrity... and I've just now thrown up everything I had eaten over the last 24 hours. [Watch with Kristin]

Commercial of the Week

I'm getting really bad about keeping up with my Friday traditions and I apologize for that. I'm not that sorry, but whatevs. Anyway, here's last Friday's Commercial of the Week. Luckily for me, it made waves on the internet today, so it worked out that I remembered I still needed to do one.

Last This week's CotW is The Kush. Yes, that's right. A dildo support for big boob cleavage. The Kush Support allows for a woman with giant bazoombas to have a comfortable, non-back breaking sleep. I, being a dude, don't obviously have this type of issue. Unfortunately for those with bodacious tatas, I can only imagine the headaches you must have when getting ready for bed and thinking about how awful your beauty rest will be because your right milk jug is gonna be hanging over too far for your fragile womanly spine to handle. This muuuuuust be the difference between life and breast. ZING!

P.S. - if you go to their website, please tell me you're just as terrified by this image as I am.

"What's that grandma?"

If you have any suggestions or tips on a great commercial you've seen that just might be a viable contender for COMMERCIAL OF THE WEEK, send it to matthewa@imattmypants.com!

Audrina Patridge is Getting Her Own Show on MTV

Oh MTV, I don't really know what crawled into your brain and destroyed it, but whatever it was - it's making you look up at the ceiling. That's right, Ceiling Eyes herself has a brand new show in the works that's been picked up by the network that made her a household whore name. Audrina Patridge had previously stated that she was leaving the show since she has so much other stuff going for her Lauren was leaving, but now it looks like she'll be doing double duty.

According to Korbi TV, Audrina and mega-reality-producer Mark Burnett have been working on something and now that MTV has picked up the pilot, she'll be able to work both shows. Because that's what America wants, a brain dead floatation device two times a week. Sweet.