FRIDAY FELINE FIND: Meow-men of Death?

Meet Oscar* (*image photoshopped)  Oscar is the resident feline at the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Providence, Rhode Island where he was adopted as a small kitten and raised all of his life.  Just your normal, everyday old folks home cat.  Meowing.  Eating.  Staring out windows.  Hiding.  And picking out exactly which decrepit elderly resident will be the next one to exit in a body bag.


Oscar the "Death Thermometer" Cat has correctly predicted the deaths of about 50 residences at the center.  Soon before it's about time for croaking, Oscar enters the patient's room and curls up with them... meaning only one thing.  Death becomes them.  Even when MEDICAL SCIENCE has pointed to another patient's death, Oscar chose correctly.

Dosa recounts one instance when staff were convinced of the imminent death of one patient but Oscar refused to sit with that person, choosing instead to be on the bed of another patient down the hallway. Oscar proved to be right. The person he sat with died first, taking staff on the ward by surprise

How this everyday cat is able to sense the imminent death of a human being is still unknown.  But what is known, to me, is how EFFING TERRIFYING THIS THIS.  Imagine lying in the dark, dank room of your nursing home, still mouthing the remnants of the plain applesauce you had for dinner, just about ready to drift off to sleep when you feel it.  The furry warm mass pawing at your side.  You look to your left and there he is.  Oscar.  Cat of Death.

See just how this goes down in AWESOME photoshopped glory after the jump...

First, Oscar picks his victim.  How this is done must be a direct order from God Himself because if Science can't explain it, then that's a heavenly plan.  So after receiving his soul order from the big man in the sky, Oscar stalks his victim.

I'm assuming this means regular cat stuff.  Oscar acts like you don't deserve to be in his presence while sulking around your area as he looks for something to keep his attention for more than 12 seconds.

Once you least suspect it though, which means your probably sleeping and about to die, which means you should be expecting it because your a thousand years old and in a death camp, Oscar pounces.  Onto your bed where he snuggles up and goes to sleep.

Your life is over.

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If this damn ass cat gets near Betty White, I swear to all that is good in this world I will make sure that no single person ever UTTERS the name Oscar ever again.  Also, pretty sure BWhites could take out anything that little f*cker could dish out...