Bad Girls Club: S04E13 SEASON FINALE

Season finales are always bittersweet.  You're bitter that one of your favorite reality shows is ending for a long time and it's sweet because the reunion episode is up next aaaand the new season is starting this summer.  And it's no different with last night's season finale of Bad Girls Club.  It's like a broken down, VD-riddled street lady being forced to retire.  Barely anyone wants to pay for anything she has to offer, but those that do... they just can't live without! I'll find you someday Twinkle Pusstina.

I wish I could tell you how awesome the episode was right now, but those dirty bholes failed at a perfect opportunity to ruin my glamazon Kate's things!  Yes, yes she should have been sent home for that butterfly kiss of a punch she delivered ever so delicately to Annie's face.  Which left the remaining girls an chance to really get even.  And what do they do?  They throw Kate's clothes around and squirt some Lubriderm on them?  You wanna be bad girls ladies?  Then you should have had Annie purge last night's dinner into the bottom of Kate's suitcases and sent them on their way.  Dried, cakey bile is a Bad Girl seal of approval.

After Kate got sent home, the episode took a turn for the Annie-get-your-gun-wait-she-probably-already-has-one.  More after the break... plus some videos!

With Portia, Flo, Natalie, and Kate now all removed from the house, the next in the chain of command somehow became Annie.  I'm not sure if Kendra, Amber, and Lexie didn't sign a list or send in their application or something, but it happened.  Maybe they just didn't care anymore.  Like when people stop believing in Santa Claus he fades into senility and kiddie porn.  Once they all stop caring about a 'leader' the position devolves into a cesspool of old panties and weave tracks.  Either way, Annie's balls finally dropped and she started Doug Funnying* around like the best of them.

At first it pissed off Lexie because Annie kept pointing out all the unintelligent things she did.  I don't know how she was even mad because up until that point in the show, I was pretty sure that Lexie was too dumb to feel any emotion outside of bewilderment and hunger.  Eventually though, they all just stopped caring and let Annie have her fun.

Annie also starts the process of pressing charges against Kate for the Eskimo kiss her face had with Kate's fist. This sends Kendra into battered-woman-syndrome and kinda, basically, weirdly tells Annie that it's her fault that Kate hit her.  Her reasoning?  If you know you're gonna get hit by someone, don't stand so close to them?  Kendra is obviously the apt pupil of Intro to Logic and Reasoning.  When Professor Socrates has us pick study groups for the final exam, I call Kendra.  Also, I call a stick of dynamite and a match.





The rest of the episode was kind of lame.  The remaining girls organized a bikini march in an attempt to break the Guinness World Record for most women in bikinis.  They failed.  I was seriously on the edge of my seat.  I thought they were gonna make it.  I truly, honestly was pulling for them.  Hope against hope!  We built this city on rock and roll for Pete's sake!  They did break the record for California though.  Second place is the first loser though.  That makes them all losers.  All of them.

In the end, the girls said goodbye to Annie, who left first because she was really missing her eating disorder and needed to get back to it.  They're made for each other.  The final three, Lexie/Amber/Kendra decided to go on a road trip to go back to their respective broken homes.  And these little piggies cried STD, D, D all the way home.

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And that wrapped up the season.  That was it.  Though, we still have two episodes of reunion worth of sh*t show left for us to soak up.  I'm excited.  I'm can't wait.  I'm team pumped. I mean look...




You guys! Perez! It's like a double killmenow!


*When you think about it, Doug Funny, the cartoon character, is a whiny c*nt.  You see what I did there?