Confessions: Animal Hoarding S01E01 - The Show I've Always Wanted

Friendships... let's talk about Confessions: Animal Hoarding right now.  It premiered last night on Animal Planet and is just the show that I've been waiting for since Obsessed did a season finale special on hoarding which became a spin-off show called Hoarders which occasionally has animal hoarders (always cats gross).

This show, is everything you'd expect from someone that hoards pets, but with more pets.

Last night's episode featured two pet savers - Bonnie, who at one time had over 100 dogs which the county eventually seized, but is now working on growing her collection again - and Don, who has 30 cats which prevents his wife of 16 years from living in the home because of the fact that there are 30 effing cats pissing and sh*tting everywhere.

the Christmas tree is made of dog feces

Let's get this one outta the way... Bonnie is a lost cause. She lives with her mom who's a walking dead person and her son who's a walking virgin. Bonnie, unsurprisingly walks very little. She now only has eight dogs which is a far cry from her ONE HUNDRED that she owned before the county got real with her. Eight seems pretty reasonable for a hoarder. The problem with Bonnie though, was she NEVER LET HER DOGS OUTSIDE. Her house was a piss palace. She was afraid that if her "babies" of course went outside, the immediate outcome would be RUN OVER BY CARS. dead. So, the sh*t storm that was her house, was actually a storm of sh*t inside her house. Bonnie, being too fat lazy broken disabled to bend over and pick it up, uses a pooper scooper on a pole. On her carpet. She scrapes (read: smears) dog turds on her carpet with a fancy rake.

When given the chance at help, Bonnie didn't want it. She refused to give up her dogs. She refused to take them to a vet to get the necessary medical attention they needed to not have that gross slime-eye thing that dirty pets get. And she almost refused to let a vet come in and treat them. Ultimately though, her niece and a specialist won out. They got a vet to come in and remove the slime-eye and they had a doggy door installed - to which Bonnie almost lost it when the dogs enjoyed being able to poop in a place that didn't smell like the inside of Bonnie's house.

Don on the other hand, seemed to actually want his life back.  More on Don after the jump, plus the most disgusting picture of a couch you will ever throw up on your computer monitor over.

Let's take a brief moment to soak up vomiting at the thought everything that's currently on/in/apartof that couch. In the episode, Don stated that the couch, at one time, was a bright white sofa. BRIGHT. WHITE. And don't get me started, don't even get me started on whatever those brown, drip marks are on the wall. I'm started. Old cat pee? Cat diarrhea? Cat puke? Cat combo? Cat sex fluids? Cat afterbirth? It's gotta be something with cats right?

Now that you've puked up your pre-lunch McGriddle you were saving from breakfast, we can talk about Don. My heart almost went out to him if it wasn't for that couch. He had been through a great deal in his life, real things like drug addiction and jail time not a lonely childhood and a couple divorces I'm looking at you Bonnie. And he truly loved his wife. He knew he needed to change and give up his catopia more like craptopia so she could move back.

So, after saying goodbye to his feline friends with the help of every humane society in a 5 county radius and some lengthy and intense cleaning that couch friendships, THAT COUCH things are looking on the up and up for good ol' Don and his wife.

----------------------------

This show guys. This show! Wednesdays at 9:00 on Animal Planet. Mark your DVRs with your own urine like the cats did with Don's printer and EVERYTHING because OMG, this show.





FOLLOW ON twitter AND facebook